A few weeks back, Miami’s private high schools sent their fall term acceptance letters.  It’s a big deal for us Miami locals as many of us are alumni and would like to see our kids attending our alma mater.  We were blessed when we got news our youngest daughter was accepted to her school of choice.  It’s the school one of her sisters attended. Both my sisters attended high school there.

Unfortunately, not everyone is so fortunate.  We have a friend whose son got rejected. Instead of celebrating, his parents were scrambling for a plan “B.”

As alumni of one of those schools, I have some ties.  Many would have you believe the influence comes from money donated with the Sugar Daddy alumni running the place.  Believe me – that’s not the case here.   I do know some of the administrators and faculty.  They were my teachers when I attended high school there and I’ve maintained my relationship with them over the years.

That week, I visited the school and made some phone calls.  I asked a fellow alumnus to phone his contacts as well.  That led to the family being invited back for an interview.  That led to a re-evaluation of their son’s applications.  In the end, he was accepted to the fall term. I’ve never heard from a more grateful father and mother in my life.

Now I can just hear people talkin’, “The unfairness of it all.”  It favors the wealthy, the better connected – it’s nepotistic.  My response to that is,

“Everyone makes decisions based upon the influence of people they know and trust.”

That’s what happened in this case.  I put my reputation and credibility on the line vouching for them. They get the education they want for their son.

I tell this story because each one of us has a level of influence in their own sphere of contacts.  It may be slight.  It may be considerable.  It may be somewhere in between.  We all make use of it.

Sometimes it’s for simple things like recommending a restaurant we like.  We use it to support the causes dear to us.  We even use it in our spiritual life. How many of us invite our acquaintances to worship with us at the church that works best for us.

It’s just the way things work whether you like it or not.

My question here is:

“How do you use the influence that’s been entrusted to you?”

I know people who squander their reputation in such a way that any influence they ever had is gone by the time they get around to needing it.  People don’t trust them so their opinions are questioned.  I can’t give much advice to these folks because they have an altogether different problem that’s difficult to solve.

The people I’d like to address are what I call influence misers and influence wasters.

Influence misers are those that have good reputations and credibility within their circle of contacts.  However, they hoard their influence.  It’s like they think there’s only a certain amount of it to go around.  They use it miserly being careful not to let it “run out.”  I’ve seen these types peddle their influence with such stinginess they won’t risk their influence on anyone.  Because of this, the influence they wield is almost non-existent.

Influence wasters are ones that have the potential as well, but are too busy or lazy to put it to use.  They are so centered on what they need done in life that they also fail to make as big an impact as they might otherwise.

To the misers I say, “What a ridiculous concept!”  To the wasters I say, “Get off your butts and do something.”

There are tons of people who can benefit from a helping hand and it’s not only the people you’d expect.  For example, in the case with my friend’s son, most would think the son and parents are the only winners.  Some may even see the applicant who could have gotten that spot in the school as the loser.

I believe the school, administrators, faculty and fellow students benefited most.  Every year the school reserves a  number of seats for a select few that don’t meet the school’s exact academic criteria.  True to their traditions, they want to bring in a more diverse set of students and want to give a chance to qualified candidate that possibly choked on the entrance exam.  By my recommending my friend’s son, I and others close to the school help find those “diamonds in the rough” as they’re called to help them bring the right mix of students to the school.

When you make a call and ask to have someone considered for a job, you do the same thing.  You are helping the hiring side gain access to someone they may not have known would have fit their needs.  (And I’m not talking about a nepotistic situation here.  I’m talking about helping people make contact with other people so both sides get their needs met including their ones hiring.)

Any you know who benefits the most?  The one stepping in making use of their influence.   To the miser I say you never run out of your influence, unless you compromise yourself.  I’ll say boldly that you actually gain in stature when people see you making a difference.  To the waster I say you are missing opportunities because influencers are seen people that can be called upon and trusted.

Am I completely full of it?  I’d love to hear from both sides on this one.  Can we reach a consensus?